


Alstroemeria

by PotatoPIerrot



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-20
Updated: 2013-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-05 06:15:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1090594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PotatoPIerrot/pseuds/PotatoPIerrot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life was full of hellos and goodbyes, but no matter what happened, he had always been surrounded by warmth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alstroemeria

It was warm.

In his dark, dark world, he didn’t know anything. He didn’t know why he was suddenly just _there_. He didn’t know why couldn’t he see. But he knew why it was warm. He knew how his mother sounded like. He knew the soft, fluffy feeling of her fur more than anyone; the taste of her milk, the sweetness of her voice. He knew she was the one who’d sing him to sleep at night, the one who’d growl and bark and make scary noises whenever the strange voices approached. He knew she was the one who’d brought him to this world, who’d shower him with all the affection she could muster.

He knew she was his mother. He just _did_.

And the squirming bodies around him. They were his brothers and sisters, all cuddling together in their mother’s embrace to keep warm. He liked it this way. _Loved_ it, in fact. But he wished he could open his eyes soon. He wanted to see his mother’s face; to see if she’s as beautiful as he’d always imagined. _She will be_ , he’d assure himself again and again. She will be.

And she was. When he was strong enough to move, to open his eyes for the first time, her beautiful blue eyes were the first things he saw. Her black and white coat was just as fluffy as it felt. He looked around him, absorbing everything around him in one greedy, childish gaze. His siblings around him were doing the same, and they all had the same monochrome coat and blue eyes as their mother had. But what about him? He brought his little paws up to his eyes. He turned his head over his shoulder as far as he could. He too, was the same color as everyone else in his family, but what about his eyes? Everyone had those sky blue orbs, but what about him? Did he have them as well? He couldn’t see. And he didn’t know how to ask.

At first, he was afraid of the humans that occasionally gathered around them. There were times when he could smell their scent on his mother’s fur. He didn’t know if they were good or bad. His mother used to be angry at them so often whenever they came near, but recently, he’d see her getting more friendly. She’d sometimes play with them instead when she thinks her children are asleep. They usually were, but _he_ was an exception. He found it difficult to drift off without her reassuring presence around. He really wanted to learn how to talk soon. He wanted to tell her how he felt without it all sounding gibberish.

As the days went by, he learnt more and more things. He learnt the language his kind spoke, the meaning behind his mother’s barks, grunts, and songs. He learnt that the furless ones - the humans - were actually not bad people. They fed them food that was incomparable to what his mother gave them, but was still pretty good. They gave  him and his brothers and sisters and even his mother baths that relieves the annoying itching they’d sometimes develop on their body. They gave his family blankets to cuddle under whenever the weather was too cold. They played with them, spoiled them, and made their days nothing but joy and fun.

And then came the day when he was suddenly taken away.

He was still very little then - only a pup, really - but he learnt to differentiate the tones in human voices soon enough. He learnt to read their faces; to recognize the little movements of their eyebrows, to identify the position of the corner of their lips. He learnt to realize if they were happy, sad, or angry.

Everything started normally that day; they were fed, petted, and hugged. He didn’t know if his siblings noticed, but he saw the little knit between their eyebrows, the little forced upward twitch of their lips. He saw the moisture in the child’s eyes when she picked him up and hugged him as tight as she dared. Was something wrong? She seemed.. what was that word again? _Sad_? Yeah. She seemed so sad. It was unusual. She was always happy when she was with them, always laughing and smiling and making lots of high pitched noises. What’s going on? He licked her face, searching for answers. Would she tell him what’s wrong?

She carried him in her arms and looked at him, her hands shaking. Her lips quivered, and suddenly, he felt droplets of water falling on his face. Was it raining? Weren’t they in the house where the rain would not reach them? He licked them off, unable to understand. No, it wasn’t rain. Rain didn’t taste this salty. Rain didn’t taste this.. painful? Could one even _taste_ pain? He didn’t know. But he could feel it; the little sting in his chest when he swallowed.

“I’m.. sorry,” he heard the girl say. “I’m so sorry.”

Why was she sorry? She didn’t do anything wrong! He wanted to tell her. But she couldn’t understand him. He might have picked up bits and pieces of the language the humans spoke, but they could never seem to do the same for his kind. Though it’s not like the latter spoke a lot. His mother barely ever said a word to the humans, and him and his siblings had learnt to do the same. There was no use wasting their energy on something that was not going to change.

But how he wanted to speak like them now! How he wanted to tell her to stop crying because it was so very, very painful for him just to listen to her. But he couldn’t. He wasn’t fast enough. Because before he could think up of any ideas on how to reach her, it was too late. He felt himself being pulled away; away from the girl, away from his siblings, away from his mother. And then just as abruptly, everything was dark.

No, no, _no_ why was everything dark? He didn’t want to return to the days where he couldn’t see. No more. He didn’t want to _not_ see anymore. He had to get out! He had to tell the girl to stop crying! He felt around, his paws hitting some sort of wall. It wasn’t that hard and it made a hollow sound when he pounded on them. There were little holes on one of them, but they were much too small for light to enter; too small for him to look out. He didn’t want to stay there! He wanted to get out; back to the bright lights, back to the warmth. He shouted as loud as he could, yelled at the top of his voice. On and on for what seemed like years.

And eventually, he gave up. It was cold in there. He was so tired. He couldn’t get out. He curled up into a tight ball, and slowly closed his eyes, his heart feeling so, so empty.

Because he was alone now. Alone in another dark, dark world.

**xXx**

When he woke up again, he realized he was in a box.

There was an opening above him; one that wasn’t there before he fell asleep. He pushed at it with his nose, sniffing at the refreshing scent of fresh air that came flooding in. He soon managed to push apart the flaps that made the opening in his prison, popping his head out for the first time in.. how long has it been? He didn’t know. The sky above him was dark now, dotted with thousands and thousands of white, twinkling dots. _Stars_ , he remembered. The dots were called stars.

He looked around at the unfamiliar surroundings. It was dark, and it was freezing. He shivered as his heart thumped faster in his chest. This wasn’t home. Where was his mother? Where were his brothers? His sisters? Where was the family who took care of him? Where was everyone?

Where was he?

There a sort of buzzing noise behind him. His ears twitched here and there. What was that? He turned around, and flinched at the sudden burst of light that flooded his vision. He shook his head and grunted softly, willing himself to look again. He was in some sort of space between two large things that resembled the house he lived in. There were many people walking back and forth at the other side, completely unaware of his presence. It was scary. It was as if there was another world out there. Were those people good or bad? Would they hurt him? What happened to his family?

There were so many things he wanted to know, and so many things he couldn’t figure out. He wanted to go home. He wanted to go back to his mother’s side, back to the warm, cozy home with lots of warmth and love. His stomach growled. And he was so hungry! He forced himself not to freak out and took a deep breath, willing himself to ignore the churning in his midsection. He thought that maybe if he waited, they’ll come back? The little girl would come back and pick him up and take him home and give him a nice, hot bath and a great meal and a soft blanket for him to sleep with? Maybe if he waited, the uncomfortable feeling in his belly would go away?

So he decided to give it a try. He lowered his head back into the box and curled up again, letting his tail rest over his nose as he’d always liked it to be. He closed his eyes once more, and waited. And waited.

And waited..

He could not sleep. The gnawing in his stomach had transformed from uncomfortable to utterly painful. It hurt, it hurt, it _hurt_! He whined out loud, just like how he’d do whenever they forgot to feed him back home. He was so hungry! He wanted food! It was so painful! He got on his legs, and once again stuck his head out from the opening above him. _Someone, please give me something to eat_ , he cried out over and over again as loud as he dared. Please. _Please_.

It felt like a long time before his voice started coming out hoarse. His throat hurt. Nobody heard him after all. Dejection weighed down on his little shoulders. What would happen to him now? Will he die like this? He prayed not. He didn’t want to die yet. He still wanted to grow up. He still wanted to grow up to be as big and strong and gentle as his mother.

He didn’t want to die yet.

He was pacing around his prison when a rectangular opening suddenly appeared somewhere to his right. He smelled the familiar scent of humans, mingled with something that smelled really tasty. He turned, and watched as a dark shape trudged toward him. He braced himself, his body tensing up. Was this human good or bad? His mother had taught him once; taught him that humans who give them food and not hit them and let them run around freely are good, and that humans who harm them and cage them up are bad. Which one was this? He backed away as the person bent down, ready to bare his fangs if he needed to. His mother wasn’t here now. He’d accepted that. So he had to take care of himself.

But the man didn’t even _touch_ him at first. He’d placed a small plate before him, filled with pieces of strange meat. He took a sniff. He didn’t know if he was just hungry or what, but it smelled absolutely wonderful. Cautiously, he took a step forward, and licked the things presented to him. They tasted wonderful too. Hunger took over his senses, and he just started gobbling it all up, not caring if the human really was going to hurt him. Halfway through, he felt a large, warm hand envelope the top of his head. It reminded him of the hands of the father of the little girl who’d always played with him. He could not sense any malice coming from the person, so he wagged his tail, and let him pet him as much as he like.

He heard the soft sounds of a chuckle and looked up, swallowing the last of the food he was given. He still couldn’t really see the human’s face in the dark. When the hand on his head left, he took the chance to lick the person’s fingers as thanks. _Thank you for keeping me from dying._ The person laughed softly once more before picking up the now empty plate and standing back up. He sat back and watched as he disappeared back into that rectangular opening. Then with a click, everything was completely dark again.

But it’s okay this time. He was full now and he wasn’t going to die. That was good enough for him for now.

That’s good enough.

_I’ll continue waiting_ , he decided, shifting into a more comfortable position. He’ll wait. He’ll wait as long as he needed to.

Because he was sure they’ll come back for him.

**xXx**

He had the very same eyes as his mother, that boy.

They were the same pale blue, the hue so identical it was scary. But he didn’t mind. In fact, he got the feeling it was because of _that_ that he felt so at ease when the boy picked him up. Unlike with the other humans he’d met so far, he couldn’t read his expression much. His eyebrows were raised when he saw him there in his box, that was all. He couldn’t figure out his thoughts, his feelings after that. What did he feel when he found him? Surprise, sure, but other than that? He didn’t know. He didn’t really care, actually. He already had the feeling that he’d be really attached to this strange human.

The boy’s friends, though, were a big contrast. They were all a lot bigger and older than the little girl he used to live with, but they acted about the same way as she did. Compared to the one who picked him up, with the exception of the female one, everyone else were like giants; standing broad and tall. They made loud noises and held him up high with sparkly eyes and jumped around. They hugged him close and laughed and smiled whenever he barked to join in the fun. They were warm and hyper, and he could feel himself liking them already.

They also gave him a name. He could only understand the very basics of human speech, but he got the picture. They named him after the boy who picked him up, the one with the beautiful blue eyes. Tetsuya. That was the boy’s name. He was the second him.

His name was Tetsuya #2 - shortened to just Nigou.

He didn’t even realize he was unnamed until that very moment. His mother didn’t give him one. Neither did the little girl nor her family. But that’s okay. Because he’s Nigou now, and that’s all that mattered. All that mattered was that he’d found it. He’d found a new family.

He’d found a new life.

He was taken in by his namesake, his master. He was taken to a house not unlike the one he used to live in; with wooden floors and stairs and all. He was welcomed by the other people there; all of them greeting him almost the same way as his master’s friends had. He was then bathed and fed, and it wasn’t long before he felt right at home. The environment was quiet and comfortable, and his eyelids began drooping soon enough. That was enough excitement for the day.

There wasn’t a basket for him to sleep in, which puzzled him. He looked around. Where was he supposed to sleep, then? He gazed up at the boy for answers, and blinked. Wait. Was that what he thought it was? It was faint, but it was definitely there.

“Come on, Nigou. Let’s go upstairs.”

He was smiling.

The change in his master’s expression was so subtle, yet it somehow radiated so much emotion, so much sincere kindness. He didn’t need to be kissed, licked, or told the usual words of affection to know he cared for him. He didn’t need to think twice before deciding that he really, really adored his master.

He felt himself being picked up, and though there was a small nagging feeling in his heart that screamed at him to struggle with all his might before he ended up being trapped again like the last time, he didn’t. He knew he didn’t need to.  He trusted his master. He knew he wouldn’t throw him away. He _wouldn’t_. So he stayed as still as he could, listening to the sound of feet padding against the wooden flooring as he felt the boy taking them both up the stairs in that strange up and down motion the humans made whenever they climb them.

They reached the top floor and entered a small, basic room. He was let down on the ground, and he stood unmoving from his spot, his tail wagging. His master squatted down before him, reaching to pat him and ruffle his fur. He rubbed his head against his touch in response. He really loved the feeling of those pale hands.

“Would you like to sleep with me or do you want the floor to yourself?” the boy asked softly, and he only barked once, not exactly caring if he didn’t understand him. He didn’t mind either way, honestly.

The boy stared at him for a short moment as if trying his hardest to comprehend his bark. He then stood up again, and walked toward a wooden drawer. He pulled out several faded towels, and piled them up on the floor by the side of his bed. He turned back to him, and motioned him to go over. “Nigou.”

He obediently obliged, making his way to the mound of very soft looking sheets. He settled down on the fluffy pile, and felt his muscles relax all at once. He moved around a bit to get into a more comfortable position, and closed his eyes. He’d considered accepting his master’s offer to sleep together, but now, he was pretty unwilling to move. As he slowly drifted off, he felt someone ruffling his fur again. But he didn’t mind, not one bit.

It was so warm.

**xXx**

They liked playing this strange game which involved bouncing a ball around while running and flinging it into this ring with a net that’s fastened to a board high up in the air.

 It looked really fun. He’d sit by the sidelines with the bags and towels and bottles, and watch as they dashed here and there while yelling at each other to do odd things like raise their hands higher, or to pass the ball to a particular someone, or to put more pressure into their ‘defense’. He didn’t understand most of it, but he knew the main objective of the game was to throw the orange ball into the ring and make sure it goes through. There wasn’t much he could by involving himself, so he settled with doing his best to keep them motivated, letting out his own words of praises and encouragement whenever someone scored or did a great pass or steal.

The times when he’d join them in playing were fun. He got to experience new things; the feeling of rolling the surprisingly large orange ball around, the feeling of wearing a shirt, the feeling of trying to keep up with the rest of the boys when they were running laps - even the feeling of _leading_ them when they ran. It was strange. In his old life, his mother had repeatedly warned him not to go outside to the big, scary world until he was old enough. His idea of having fun had always only consisted of him frolicking around in a roofed, closed, protected place. But now, he was free to go wherever he wanted as long as he could find his way back to his master. And even if he couldn’t, his master and his friends would always, _always_ manage to find him no matter how lost he was, no matter how well he was hidden. He knew he’d always be safe with them around, and he liked it. He liked the difference, liked to be free. He liked this sense of security he was given.

He liked his new life. A whole lot, if he must say.

As enjoyable as the game was, he discovered it wasn’t always laughter and sunshine. His master frequently collapsed when they trained in the school gym. Some of the boys would occasionally excuse themselves halfway through to go outside and throw up. Everyone seemed to be in great pain at times; panting hard with sweat soaking through their cotton shirts even though the day was cool, their expressions pinched, their voices off tune from shouting, their arms and legs slightly shaking when they moved. But when they recovered, they were just as lively as ever; making jokes at another’s expense, holding conversations with smiles on their faces, playing with him with the same overflowing enthusiasm as they always had. The change really was baffling.

This game - _basketball_ , if he wasn’t mistaken - was really important to them. There were times when the boys would go to another much bigger, much noisier gym to play against other teams, with a very large crowd of people watching them. He stayed at home most of the time, but occasionally, he was secretly brought to watch them play live too. He’d never missed even one of their matches. He’d never lost the chance to cheer them on, even if he wasn’t there in person. He was told to be as quiet as possible when he was sneaked in, but at home, he was afraid he made quite the racket. He didn’t know if his master and the others could hear him from that electronic box, but he’d still scream and yell and cheer as loud and hard as he could. _Defense! Screen! Don’t let the brown haired one pass! Give the ball to the captain!_ All that.

To him, his master and his team had always been the winners. After knowing them for so long, he’d never seen them lose. They still looked pained when they were playing, but they’d always emerged grinning and shouting in joy at the end. His master would come home and greet him with one of his rare smiles on his face and pick him up and let him climb around his head and neck and shoulders like he’d always liked to do. He’d place him next to him on his pillow and quietly tell him all about the match, and he’d listen with all his attention until he fell asleep from exhaustion. Then he’d either curl up and sleep next to his master, or he’d make his way back to his spot on the floor and snuggle up.

Seeing everyone else being so happy brought him great joy too. He loved their smiles, their manic laughter. He loved the way they’d leap up into the air and make weird noises so loud it was almost obnoxious. He loved the fact that they always seemed to know that he’d been there cheering for them, holding him up in the air and swinging him round and round. He loved the fact that they could still be happy despite everything they had to go through every day.

He really loved them to bits.

**xXx**

He’d never seen his master cry before.

When he did, it was frightening.

They’d lost. For the first time in his life, he watched in growing anxiety as the opposing team scored again and again and _again_. His team had been powerless to do anything. The one with the dual-colored hair and who was for some reason very afraid of him, the one called Kagami - he was not playing. He’d watched their games long enough to understand that he was their important key to victory, along with his master. But now he wasn’t there on the court with everyone else. His master and the others kept trying their best, and he’d had a small spark of hope. Maybe things weren’t as bad as they seemed. Maybe they can still do it. They’re working so hard, surely they can do it again!

..Right?

But the ones who jumped and cheered and laughed at the end weren’t them but the ones in the black shirts. He could feel his own heart sinking as he stared at the glass screen before him, unable to process it all completely. His team.. lost? They didn’t look like their usual ecstatic selves when they finished the game. Instead, their expressions were difficult to read. He didn’t know what kind of face they were making. He couldn’t figure out.

“ _They lost_ ,” he heard his master’s grandmother whisper behind him, and that was it. There was no mistake. If a human confirmed it, then there was no mistake.

They didn’t win this time.

_What now?_ He thought as worry slowly built up inside him. What of his master? What of the others? What would happen to them now? Would they stop being happy? Would they stop playing basketball altogether? Was it the end for them?

He got up, and headed to the entryway. He paced around there restlessly, waiting for his beloved master to come home. There was a strange feeling in his chest, like someone was holding him too tightly. He wondered what it was for a moment before deciding to ignore it. That didn’t matter. What mattered, was that his master was okay. He didn’t need to know anything else. He only needed to know if the boy was okay, if he was handling it alright.

Forever had probably passed before the door finally opened. He ran up to the familiar pair of legs, and jumped up as high as he could, making loud, agitated barks. He’s okay, right? He’s not awfully unhappy or anything, right?

His master didn’t say a word as he bent down to remove his shoes, seemingly ignoring his existence. Sensing that something was off, he stopped moving about, tilting his head a little as he gazed at the boy’s hard-to-read expression. He wasn’t well, after all? He took several steps back to avoid being stepped on when the boy made his way inside.

“Welcome back, Tetsuya!” a voice sounded from the living room, and the said boy only answered with a barely audible “I’m back” before shuffling his way upstairs. _Is he going to sleep already?_ He thought so. If that was the case, then he had to go up too, or else he’ll be locked out of his bedroom. So he padded his way back inside, and with all his effort, climbed the wretched stairs as fast as his frustratingly short legs would allow.

He reached the top just at the nick of time. His master seemed to notice him at last, his eyebrows raising slightly as he held his door open just long enough for him to slip into the room. He quickly took a spot by the dresser and sat there, waiting for the boy to pick him up or pat him or ruffle his fur like usual. But he didn’t. He walked right past him again, and without even bothering to change, his plopped himself face first on his bed. He diligently stayed on his spot, and waited. He waited for him to raise his head and take a breath. He waited for him to move, to say something.

He waited for him to show him he was okay. 

He soon got tired of being patient. His master had not moved at all since just now. Tentatively, he left his spot, and headed towards the bed. He bent his legs slightly, and with a soft grunt, he jumped and scrambled up the side with the help of the sheets. He crawled his way to where the boy was, and with his head, his gently nudged the mess of blue hair on the pillow. When he got no response, he nudged him again, a little harder this time. Why wasn’t he looking up? Burying his face in his pillow for so long couldn’t be good for him!

He was preparing himself to tug at his hair to coax him to lift his face when he heard them; the soft coughs and sniffles. _Oh_. He recognize this sound. Reality abruptly dawned him. He knew that sound a little _too_ well, and he truly didn’t want to hear it again if he could help it. But it’s already happening, and there was nothing he could do.. _no_ , he refused to leave it at that. He hadn’t been able to do anything _then_ too, and he wasn’t sure how much time had passed since he was separated from that little girl, but he was still regretting it. He had to do something this time. He _had_ to. He wasn’t the same puppy as he was then. He wasn’t so helpless anymore. He could do this.

He moved to the side of his master’s head and whispered in his ear: _don’t cry, don’t cry_. He didn’t care if he didn’t understand the sounds he made as long as he could get his messages across. _Don’t cry. Please don’t cry anymore. It’ll be okay. Nothing is over._ He repeated the words over and over, meaning each and every one of them with all his heart. _No more. Don’t be sad anymore_.

Eventually, he succeeded. The shaky feelings on his master’s shoulders stopped, and his breathing eased out. He sniffed one last time, and finally turned to face him. The whites of his eyes were tinged red, his cheeks stained with tears. He stuck out his tongue, and carefully licked them off. They tasted salty, just like those of the little girl’s from all those months ago. He still didn’t like the taste of them.

“Thank you, Nigou,” the boy said, his voice sounding a little croaky. He didn’t like this either. He liked his usual smooth monotone more. He licked his hand when he reached out to him, silently asking if he was alright now, if the sadness was gone now. If the hurt was gone now. And as if he could read his mind, his master smiled - though, now that he thought of if, even that looked a little despondent.

“I’m sorry,” he told him, gently brushing the back of his fingers against the sides of his face. “To let you see this side of me.”

He only made a small noise as a response, returning his touch. _I don’t mind._

“It’s just.. _frustrating_ , I guess,” the boy continued with a sigh through his nose. He shifted his position so he was now properly lying down sideways on his bed. “Losing after trying so hard.”

He only licked his hand again. _It’s not the end_ , he wanted to tell him so badly. _It’s not the end, so please stop looking like that. Stop looking like you’ve given up already._

“But I suppose this just means I have to work harder, huh?” the boy said after a short pause , trying his best to sound upbeat as he pushed himself upright. He lifted the collar of his shirt over his eyes for a moment before letting it fall back over the base of his neck. When he shot him a worried look, he only faintly smiled back at him once again.

“Don’t worry. I’m alright now,” he told him, moving to the edge of his bed. “I’m just going to take a quick shower before really going to sleep for real. You don’t have to wait for me if you’re tired.”

With that, his master go to his feet, and walked to the door. He exited the room, leaving him feeling strangely lost, confused and alone. He stared at the rectangular opening that led to the hallway, knitting his eyebrows like how he’d seen the humans do. Why did he say he was alright when he still sounded far from it? Why did his smiles all look so forced and hurtful? Was he really going to be fine?

He was. He had to be. He believed in him. His master wasn’t that weak, wasn’t that quick to lose hope. He’d get over this, and he’d start winning again with his team another time. Even if he wasn’t alright now, he knew he would be.

Because he was his master, after all.

**xXx**

Life was full of hellos.

He met many new faces during his time with his master. Every human wasn’t the same; be it be in the sense of personality or appearance. There were loud ones, quiet ones. Tall ones, short ones. Ones with yellow hair and ones with blue. Each and every human he met was different from one another.

When the trees started to turn pink and spring came around, there were more people he’d never seen or met before in his team. They didn’t seem like bad guys. Some were scared of him at first just like how Kagami had been, but eventually learning that he wasn’t inclined to treat them with hostility at all, they started warming up to him. The tension between them completely disappeared not long after, and it soon felt as if his family had just got bigger and noisier. More people offered to give him baths, to take him for walks when his master couldn’t. More boys offered to feed him when he was hungry, or to entertain him whenever he started to get bored while watching them practice. More people grew to love him, and he certainly had no issues loving them back.

Life was full of goodbyes, too.

It started happening a little while after he realized how much smaller the world suddenly looked to him, or how much shorter everyone was when they stood around him. He was bigger than the orange basketball now; being able to stand over it with all four of his legs touching the ground instead of two. His master’s hands weren’t so big anymore. Distances were shorter, and he needed less energy to move around.

He knew it wasn’t the world that shrunk. It was _him_ that grew bigger. He could see that from his own reflections whenever he walked near a glassy surface. He was no longer a puppy now. He had grown; his body larger, his voice deeper and less shrill. He’d grown up.

Goodbyes always happened, but many of them were short and seemed insignificant. He’d said goodbye to many people whose scent he couldn’t even remember in time because everything had been so brief. But it wasn’t the same that time. It happened on the second time he saw the trees turning pink. He could still remember it down to the very last detail; the rolls of paper they held in their hands, the smiles on their faces and the tears in their eyes. The warmth of their tight hugs. The quaver in their voices when they told him ‘see you again’.

The slight squeeze in his own heart when he realized that he might not be seeing them anymore.

Graduation. He’d heard the word quite a number of times to remember it. The older ones of the team - the scary girl coach, the bespectacled captain, the big brunette, the one with the puns, the cat-eyed boy and the silent one, the one that always didn’t stand out - they were all leaving school. That was what his master told him. They were leaving them; some to far off places, some maybe not. He thought his master sounded a little sad when he explained to him the night before, and he didn’t understand at first because was it really that big of a deal? They could still come back and visit, right? It wasn’t the end. They can still see one another.

But it still made him upset.

Hellos and goodbyes always came together. Where there were hellos, there were also goodbyes. Where there were goodbyes, there would be new hellos. The cycle would go on and on. After graduation, more members joined their team, as if taking the places of those who’d left. He didn’t think he’d like them at first thanks to that particular thought, but eventually, he gave in. He wasn’t the type to harbor dislike towards anyone at all in the first place. Hadn’t he learnt to move on with life? He had. He’d learnt to always move forward no matter what happened. Staying in one place would change nothing.

Because that was just how things were, wasn’t it?

It felt like just a blink of an eye when the time came for his master’s turn to graduate. The situation had been almost the same; with the same ceremonies and rolls of paper. But because it was his master’s turn to leave this time, there was a difference. _He_ would be leaving too. It wasn’t him being left behind now, but the other way round. That was it. It was goodbye for real this time. He’d be losing a family again. He felt his eyesight blurring a little when he was hugged again and again by the people he’d come to treasure. He knew he was going to miss it all; the warmth, the laughing voices, the familiar, reassuring scents. He was going to miss watching them run around the court, hearing their energetic voices shouting back and forth. He didn’t want to leave it all behind. He didn’t have the heart.

But it hadn’t been up to him to decide.

Even if he was an adult now,  not everything would be in his favor. He knew that. He couldn’t just throw a fit and make a big fuss over leaving. It was for his master. He’d done so much for him over the years, and it was his turn to do the same, like it or not. Like it or not, he was following his master’s wishes. They were leaving it all behind together, no matter how much that pained them, no matter how unwilling they were.

Life was full of hellos and goodbyes.

**xXx**

He was so tired.

There had been a point in time in which his energy seemed almost endless. He could go around for hours without exhausting himself at all. He could jump here and there, go places and do things. His master would let him out to wander around as much as he liked every morning before he went out, and he would always somehow find his way back home by the end of the day at the exact same moment his master came home. He’d go around and see things and let random friendly strangers pet him.

He’d feel so free.

But after a while, the energy seemed to slowly fade out. It started happening around the time when his master was no longer at home as often as he used to be. He had work. He remembered something about the humans. You’d have to do things for other people to obtain those slips of paper called money that are used to exchange for all kinds of things. His master went to university every weekday from morning till noon, and he worked in a part-time job until late at night. They’d still spend their time together in their comfortable apartment on weekends and holidays, of course, but he’d still feel pretty lonely at times. It’d been many years since his master left high school, and eventually, he found himself yearning for the companionship of the loud, lively boys he used to be surrounded with. Being with his master was great and all, but there were times when he’d remember his own younger days and let nostalgia wash over him.

As time went on, his urge to move around grew smaller and smaller, and in the end, it was all he could do just to get on his feet and walk over to greet his master whenever he came home from work. His eyesight was slowly going bad too; everything started looking as if there was a thin film of white covering his eyes. He started developing an annoying cough that wouldn’t stop no matter what he did. His occasional trips to the vet grew more and more frequent, and then stopped altogether. _And_ _that’s it_ , he thought when he was brought home after his latest appointment. Nothing else could be done for him anymore. He knew in his heart.

When his sight completely went bad when he was solely relying on scent to navigate his way around, his master began spending more time with him. He was there to put him to bed, to give him food and water, to provide him support when his legs  give out while he was walking. It made him feel like a puppy again, having to rely so much on someone else to do things. But he wasn’t one anymore. Unlike a puppy who’d just started on its journey of life, his was rapidly coming to an end.

He refused to allow himself to be miserable. He decided he couldn’t afford to lament over the fact that he was getting weaker and weaker by the day. He didn’t have the time to do that. He wanted to spent the rest of his days being happy. And he _was_ happy. No matter how heavy his body felt, no matter how much the coughs would hurt his throat and chest, no matter how much effort he’d have to use just to stand up, he’d never felt bitter.

Not even now.

The blanket wrapped around him was very warm, just like the one he used to sleep under with his family, just like the one in his master’s old room. Just like his mother’s embrace. Just like the hugs of the people he’d cherished and held dear. Just like the hand that was now gently stroking his face, the fingers scratching on that one spot behind his ear. It was all he could do to keep his eyes open. It was so comfortable. He felt so, so tired.

His master’s voice rang in his ears, the words sounding garbled, for some reason. He listened more intently. He still couldn’t exactly make out the words he was saying, but he recognized the tone. His master was speaking in a strained whisper, his voice trembling ever so slightly. He summoned all his strength and moved his head, butting his hand. The gesture had became his own personal way to cheer him up over the years. It’d usually work, but this time, it only seemed to make him more unhappy. He stopped talking, his hand shaking.

What’s wrong? For the umpteenth time, he badly wished his could speak in a language which humans could understand. What was making his master so upset? Habitually, he blinked when the weight on his head disappeared, replaced by a familiar feeling that snaked around his neck. He felt something pressing lightly against the side of his face, followed by an all-too familiar voice that whispered into his ear;

“It’s okay to rest now, Nigou.”

His master’s voice was carefully, _desperately_ controlled, but with his sharp hearing, he managed to detect the slight waver in it. Hearing that tone, he’d usually feel his own heart constrict, but oddly, everything was numb now. He couldn’t really feel anything, except for this strange sense of peace. Like he was suddenly released from this invisible burden he’d unconsciously been carrying with him all along.

He turned, and licked where he thought _and_ hoped was his master’s cheek. _What do you mean rest? I can still go on!_ He wanted to tell him. He can still stay awake, no problem. He’s fine!

There was a salty taste in his tongue.

“You must be tired, right?” his master continued in that soft, soft tone of his while tenderly stroking the scruff of his neck. It felt really nice. He let out a soft sigh. His eyelids felt even heavier. “It’s okay to go to sleep.”

He summoned yet another burst of strength, and let out a small noise. He’d already lost his bark some time ago. _But I still want to spend a little while more with you!_

“We can continue tomorrow, yeah?” his master said as if reading his mind, combing his pale, slender fingers through his thick coat. “It’s not good to push yourself like that.”

He.. supposed he had a point. It took all his concentration just to keep himself awake. He was so unusually tired; like he’d just pushed himself to run throughout the whole city. Reluctantly, he succumbed to the temptation of sleep, letting himself relax against the soft sheets that cushioned his worn body. He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath, filling his nostrils with the reassuring scent of their little apartment. The sensation of his master’s touch slowly grew fainter and fainter. It was so warm. So, so warm.

And just before the world faded completely to black, he heard the voice of his master, breaking with each word that escaped his lips.

_“Good night, Nigou.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Alstroemeria: friendship and devotion


End file.
